Ultimately, confidence is how you feel in yourself and in your own abilities. Before I had poor mental health, I would have said that I was a confident person and in many respects I was. However now when I reflect, had I got the balance right? I think it would depend on who you would ask. To some people, they would say yes and then to others, they would say no. I appreciate that as a person you can always improve on your interpersonal skills and hey my whole journey has been about personal development and personal discovery in the hope that I can get better as a person.
I also recognise that if you beat yourself up worrying about this, it can negatively affect your confidence. You also have to accept you can not please all the people all of the time and embrace your uniqueness. I accept I am a people pleaser by nature, always striving to help others and yet now I ask myself can I change my approach and still help people but by doing it in a different way and being more empowering.
Sometimes we can overstretch ourselves and it can also link to our own self-worth and self-esteem. Do you prioritise your own self-worth and practice self-care above all other things or do you cause yourself stress by over promising on your commitments in fear that people will think ill of you or worries and concerns that you're not doing enough? There is only you in this equation, so it is a great place to start to get to know yourself better, what are your strengths, are you assertive enough, whatever your weaknesses are, how can you overcome them and stretch outside your comfort zone while still maintaining positive mental health? It's fantastic when you get it right, it is interesting though when you look back on historic leaders or at people that are in the public eye, that there can always be a divided opinion. I am yet to hear someone that has completely got this right. So be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack.
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